A Ceramic Fish Joint

So, I'm on my new schedule and team. This is the first time in *years* that I've been responsible for arriving somewhere on a regular basis before noon. It's a change. Last night I went to a movie and nearly fell asleep. And it was only 11! I'm so ashamed. But, it's cool. It's nice to get home and be able to actually go have dinner. At more places than just IHOP or Steak and Shake. There are options. I can go to Target after work. Or to the mall to look at yummy boys. Mmm…Yummy boys.

So, yeah, it's been cool. I like my new supervisor, and everyone on the team is both super smart and really fun. And funny. So, that's great. Plus, working during the day means that there are less calls. And, since I'm on a specialty team, I don't have to take fucking dial-up calls. Woot! Plus, no DSL anymore also, which is cool cause I've always had this thing against DSL. It's just too finicky and customers don't understand that.

So, yeah, that's all cool.

Hmmm…what else. Oh, my birthday is in two weeks. Yay. I'mma be old – 24. I'm gonna be a twentysomething and that creeps me out. I took a couple days off work for it so I'll get a four day weekend. Without pay, which sucks…but at least I'll have a break from life. Plus, birthdays are notoriously horrible for me, so I need to lay low for a few days. Just so I don't die or anything. Wesley has suggested just wrapping me in pillows and shoving me in a closet for the day, which isn't too bad an idea. You have no clue how horrible birthdays are for me. Something insanely bad happens every fucking year. My car gets stolen by an ex, I get hundreds of dollars stolen by a family member, my parents forget (four times in 10 years…that's a lot), my significant other forgets and lets me sit alone all night, etc, etc. Yeah. I don't want something bad to happen this year. I think since drugs are mostly outta the question, I'm just gonna get stupid drunk and eat yummy food.. Like a big assed steak. Damn, I've been craving some good steak for a couple weeks now. Not sure what's up with that.

Fuck. Mr. Sears-Washer-Man just came to look at the washer that has been broken since September. Apparently the gear box is borked, and it'll cost over $300 to fix it…he suggests just buying another one. I'm sad. I was so looking forward to doing laundry at my own home tonight. Sigh. Guess we'll be hanging in out in laundryland for a while longer. That sucks ass.

Boys suck and are ten kinds of confusing. That is all.

You're Love in the Time of Cholera!
by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Like Odysseus in a work of Homer, you demonstrate undying loyalty by
sleeping with as many people as you possibly can. But in your heart you never give
consent! This creates a strange quandary of what love really means to you. On the
one hand, you've loved the same person your whole life, but on the other, your actions
barely speak to this fact. Whatever you do, stick to bottled water. The other stuff
could get you killed.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

So I was just watching this show on candy from the past that's still popular today. (Shut up. It's 3am and I'm bored.) Anyways, they were talking about Necco Wafers – those weird chalky-sweet pastel wafter things, right? Ok. So , this lady comes on who is a “Necco Wafter Expert.” That's her job. She studies Necco Wafters throughout time. How does one even decide to go into a field such as Necco Wafterology. Is there a real job market out there for people who know the history of the Necco Wafter – from its beginnings over a century ago, through its stints in wars, its papal duties and on up through today? I mean…really now. And, this leads to another question. Are there other “experts” out there for different candies? A Sugar Daddy Specialist, perhaps? And…who pays this lady, anyways? I wanna know!

So, I got on the cable-only team at work cause I happened to luck out and do well on the test. Woot! So, I get a pretty kickass schedule and I'm so freaking excited. A team where *everyone* knows what the hell they're doing and getting out of work the same day that I went in. It'll be sweet. I'm sad that Heather didn't get on the team, though…cause I really wanted her to be there with me. Luckily someone from my training class got on it, so I'll know someone at least. However, he's a pretencious punk, so it might not be that great. Anyway, I'll be working Sunday-Thursday now, from 10-7. This is just so fabulous. Wesley seems to have a fairly similar shift, so I'll actually get to see my roommate every now and again. Plus, that's almost the exact same schedule of the boy – he works M-F. However, things with him suck big hairy ass, so it seems like having a similar schedule won't mean a thing anyways.

Yeah. Things suck in that regard. Sometimes he seems so into me, wants to hang out, and is incredibly sweet. Calls me, etc. Then other times, it's like he's completely oblivious to me. I don't understand him. I really wanted to have a chance to talk to him and see what the hell is up. But for the last week whenever I try to hang out with him he's always got some excuse why he can't. Granted, there are really only a couple days we can hang out cause of my current getting home at 1:30am after work, but…geez. I dunno, it just sucks ass. I decided (with some help) to just write him off. It sucks cause I really liked this boy, he seemed to really dig me, thought it was gonna be a great thing. Apparently not. Boys suck. And I'm really horny and just want to get laid. And it sucks even more cause this boy…he was fabulous with the sex. Sigh. Stupid boys.

It's that time again, kids! Seriously, every few months, I'm reminded of this little…ditty. Infuckingsane.

Broken
Nothings turned out the way you wanted it to,
everything is in pieces. As you struggle to
try and put everything back together again,
something always comes along and scatters them
once again. You're only one step away from
getting on The Downward Spiral

Which NIN era are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wow. I wouldn't have guessed that at all.

Right, then. The journal interviewy thing, questions brought by Gary.

1. What type of bread do you prefer? (Note: You must answer this question in exactly seventeen words. No more, no less.)

I like the yummy, starchy, potatoey goodness of potato bread. It makes me moist and tingly. Yum.

2. If you could go back in time for one hour, what would you do?

Only one hour? That's not quite fair. Hmmm…let's think. Since I'd only have an hour, I'd prolly go back to focus on either sex or drugs. Or both. Wait. Sex then drugs. Yeah, that's the ticket. Hmmm, so from this point I'd have to decide who I would want to fuck, and which drugs I want to be abundant. The 70s were great, but I'm just not that into coke. The 60s were fantabulous, too, but everything popular then I can partake in now easily. Damn, this is hard. Ok, we'll focus on the sexing then. Ok, let's go with the 80s. Heroin was…widely available, and that'd be fun. Yuppies are fun. And the music kicked ass. So, I'd go back to New York City, April 22, 1987 at 9pm and I'd rock the hour away.

3. What do you envision yourself being in the future?

Fabulous. The most fabulous ever. Think Samantha from Sex and the City, except for without the cancer. Or perhaps just fabulous and fun and free like my new friend Justin Winokur. The point is, I don't know what I want to do when I grow up, but I will be happy and I will be successful – whatever that means to me at the time.

Yeah, either that, or I'll just be dead. Who's to know?

4. Would you bone me? (Note: you may only answer this question in the form of a yes.)

Every day, baby. And three times on Wednesdays. Oooohhhh….and it's Wednesday right now! You don't mind a little pain, right? Where's your cube again?

5. You and a close friend are trapped together, each one in a cage opposite of each other. Below the cages is a lake of acid. Inside of each cage is a red button. A maniacal voice comes over a speakerphone, giving you the following situation in which you both have an hour to complete:

There is no way to communicate with your friend. Do you press the button, or leave it alone, and why?

I'd totally press the button because I'm a bad person and probably even though it was a close friend, I'm sure they didn't like me that much anyway. Plus, always the chance I'd live! Most likely, knowing my friends, they'd push the button too for just because it's a BUTTON and I'd die anyways.

THE RULES
1 – If you want to be interviewed, leave a comment.
2 – I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 – You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 – You'll include this explanation.
5 – You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.