A Ceramic Fish Joint

This morning, I was stalked by two peahens in the parking lot of a Wendy's.

The Good: My car got fixed today for less than what was originally quoted. Like, almost $200 less. The man stayed late so that I could pick it up after work.

The Bad: Something completely unrelated to the 3 things I had fixed broke on the way home. Actually, two somethings unrelated broke. Two fucking blocks from the car guy. Broke in such a way that my car would NOT go into gear. It was mass badness.

So, I immediately called Car Man to see if he was still in…no answer. But, he called me back around 9:30 tonight. And said he didn't know what would have caused the problem, but that he'd come get my keys and get the car. At 10:30, Mr Car Man showed up AT MY APARTMENT. That's fucking cool. He went to my car, looked at it on the spot and came to call me. First thing, the clutch cable was all fuckered up. No biggie, gonna cost about 80 bucks. I go, start to watch Donnie Darko and eat my dinner and my dad calls. I'm in the midst of telling him what's up, and Mr. Car Man calls again. He just PUSHED my car the two blocks to his shop and took another look at it. Turns out the cv joint thingy also died. Which was something he told me I needed replaced. Just didnt' think I'd need it today. But, he can get me a pretty good deal on that, too. So, in all, my work tomorrow should be roughly $300. Which sucks, but I'm very impressed at the service. The guy is coming in early tomorrow to fix it for me. He actually offered to fix it tonight had it been only the clutch cable, which I declined anyway. I'm going to have to be late for work, which hopefully will not get me fired. But I can't manage to get a ride over to the guy to sign an authorization of the work (which he requires before he'll touch your car) AND get back to work in time. Just not possible. So, yeah. We'll see how it works out.

I just cannot fucking believe it. I have the worst luck, ever.

Bourbon Congratulations! You're 127 proof, with specific scores in beer (80) , wine (150), and liquor (60).

Screw all that namby-pamby chick stuff, you're going straight for the bottle and a shot glass! It'll take more than a few shots of Wild Turkey or 99 Bananas before you start seeing pink elephants. You know how to handle your alcohol, and yourself at parties.

Well, this isn't as bad as I thought. Yeah, I'm hardcore. /sarcasm

Yeah. My birthday? Not so great a day. Again. As always.

I'll talk about the time leading up to the move some other time. Right now, I'm gonna bitch about how the Ides of March is mean to me. Again. Always with the mean.

So, I wake up. Packing isn't finished yet. We scurry around to get it done, run to the new apartment to sign the lease. Nothing too bad yet. In fact, it was…curiously easy. A little….too easy, in fact. We get back to our old home, finishing up on the last bits, and the movers call. They're on their way, right on time. Movers get there, come up and take inventory, and the price on the move goes up. Which, yeah, we totally had more than originally planned.

So, the cost went from $400 to $650. Which sucks lots of ass. I think, “Crap! Well, it's the Ides of March, after all. I should expect it.” Drive to the new place to wait for the cable guy. Wes brings pKitten over. We sit. She's all kinds of scared here. Well, she was. She thought someone else lived here or something. It was sad to see our pKitten all trembling and stuff.

We wait a while, the cable guy comes, and immediately after the new-washer guy comes. Great! Everyone at once to get stuff finished! Again, a little too easy. I drove back to the old apartment to see how much longer they'd be so we could lock up…it was gonna be another hour…so I go to get lunch for Wes and myself.

Two freaking miles north of my new home (which is like…two miles north of my old home) my car starts to smoke. I freak the fuck out, call him to come get me. Luckily the cable and washer man had just finished. So, blah. My car is still sitting on the side of the road. I need to call the car fixer guy to see if he'll fix it. I tried putting more antifreeze in the car to see if I could drive, and it just kinda poured onto the ground. Fucking fabulous.

Sigh. Oh. And so then, we get home. To our new home. We eat. The movers call, they're finished. Wes goes to finish cleaning stuff up there since it's getting late and turn in the keys. The movers come to the new place, and say that our apartment is further away than agreed (more than 120 feet) and that it's going to be 20% more! An extra $120. On top of the $650. And, we had to “give them something extra” for taking our broken washer to the dumpster. Before a tip, the total was up to $770. It was sadness. So much sadness. And it started to pour the rain. While they were moving stuff. So much sadness. Finally, the guy was all…well…just give us half of the $120 off the record along with tip and something for doing the washer. So. Blah. I think I ended up giving them $120 in cash. I don't even know. So many dollars.

And my car is still needing fixed. So many dollars for one freaking day. Beware the fucking Ides of March, indeed.

I hate my birthday so much. But, as Wes told me in an email a few minutes ago: “Don't be too afraid today. Remember, your birthday is over. You have 364 days of only insanely bad adversity left before the bend-you-over-and-rape-you-with-a-pickled-pinable-ridiculously-everything-must-go-open-up-because-life-wants-to-shit-in-your-face adversity starts again.”

I watched an HBO documentary special thing tonight about Atlantic City whores. One girl said, “I'm not trying to be Captain Save-a-Ho.” It was the funniest thing I've ever heard. Jersey whores are silly.

So, the new apartment is official. We're moving ON my birthday. Filled out all the paperwork yesterday. Came home to an eviction notice at this place. That was fun. We were evicted for withholding rent. Even though…Even though the people had legal notice of our intent to not pay. Yeah. It was fucked up. Also fucked up – they gave us 3 days before eviction. Hah! So, Wes talked to them. They were all, yeah. That wasn't supposed to happen. Uhm, no. No sir, it was not supposed to happen. So, Wes said we'd be out on the 15th, and the office was honestly surprised that we would *gasp* leave. Leave the place that fixes nothing. Leave the place that gives an eviction notice in a time when they legally cannot evict us for the reason stated. Sigh. Idiots.

So, I found a place to give us boxes. And found movers that will do the move for like 400 bucks. Hopefully we don't have more boxes than I said we did! Sucks cause living on the 3rd floor and moving to the 2nd floor makes the movers more expensive. But. It means I don't have to carry shit, so I win. Mom's lending me money to help get stuff done, so that's good.

Oh, and check this out. So, we basically got this new place for like. Nothing. No damage deposit, no application fees thanks to me working with Verizon. No security deposit thanks to Wes' dad co-signing the lease. All of that saved hmm…close to 2 grand for us. We had to pay an administration fee of 150, of which we get 50 back the day we move in. Our rent will be prorated, so we'll only be paying like 425 on the day we move in. With the movers being 400…and us not paying rent for this place this month…we more or less broke even.

I just went through my clothes and made about two garbage bags full of things that I'm giving to Goodwill. Thought about just being a bad person and throwing all the crap away, but some things are non-offensive. They just don't fit me well. Other things, not so much. But, I was thinking. I'm fat, right? And sometimes fat people need clothes. And sometimes fat people are poor, and have to shop at Goodwill. Now, buying not-skinny people clothes in regular stores is hard enough, but in Goodwill? Damn near impossible. So, maybe it'll like, help someone out. Things that can be worn for working and stuff. It sucks, but I've totally had to do it before and thinking back on times when I was broke, with no “nice” clothes for jobs and having to scrounge through things that didn't fit. Yeah, it's kinda like an additional slap in the face. So, blah. Now I just have to get myself to a Goodwill or something to donate them.

Hmm, what more. Oh. Damn. I need my car fixed, too. I'm hoping that I can maybe get it done next like Thursday or Friday, so that I'll have the option of reverse by the time we're at the new place. Hopefully I can remember to call the guy on Monday.

Oh, I got my raise at work this week. That made me happy. I'm now making 20% more than I was doing the AOL crap just four months ago. That's way cool. A job that I don't hate and more dollars. Totally a win-win situation.

Sigh. Off to reserve the moving people.

So, we're moving, apparently. Wes and I…the apartment we have right now? Not so much working out for us what with the dripping water and the extra mold spores everywhere. Not a good look. And, you know, kinda frustrating. So, today we found a home. Camden Live Oaks in Tampa Palms. It's about 5 minutes from where I live now. And seems to be a pretty ok place. 2BR/2Bath with 1335 sq feet – mind you they are counting the screened in balconies, which there are two huge ones. Both bedrooms have access to a balcony, as does the living room. The bedroom I'll be taking – its balcony is linked to the balcony off of the living room. We're going to be on the second floor. Private stairwell. Has a study. Uhm, what else. The closets are smaller than what we have now, which worries me. Still walk-in closets, but like, maybe 2/3 the size. And they don't have as many rods for hanging clothes. Like, only one rod whereas now I have 3. So, yeah. That kinda concerns me. The bedrooms are smaller, which isn't that great either. My bathroom seems like it might be a little larger than the one I have now. Hmmm, what else. The living room layout is a little better than what we have now. Kitchen is smaller, but meh. There's like..space in all these other areas. Like a useable dining room. That part's cool. Wes has said I can use the study for my computers if I want since I dunno how my desk will work in the bedroom…I dunno if I want to do that. Can't decide. I like having naked computer time. And I like having the computer close by me. But it also kinda hinders me with the sleeping. Like, I gravitate towards the computer rather than the bed.

So, bleh. Moving soon-like. Looks like we'll have to kinda quick leave this place. We've already withheld rent for March, and according the the lawyer, things are going to start getting bad soon. Like, evict-us kind of bad. Plus, it's freaking raining and the water is making the apartment kinda unliveable and stuff. I've borrowed money from my parents tonight. Which made me feel like absolute shit. I hate doing that kind of stuff. HATE. Especially since I know my mom just got a nice chunk of money and everybody (her sisters and stuff) want her to pay back stuff that she owes. Like, meaning, all the money. No letting her get caught up on bills or mortgage or like buy food or anything. Mind you, the people that want the money? They are in no immediate need of it. Like, my parents? Had no income for a considerable period of time. It was bad. Bad as in they had to get food stamps to be able to eat. Bad as in they didn't pay their mortage for about 3 months and nearly had the house forclosed. Bad as in they had to borrow money to pay for my mom's health insurance so she could continue to be treated for her myriad illnesses that put her in this position in the first place. It was bad. When my dad broke his arm in September, they had absolutely no income. At all. Dad borrowed money from me – my rent money for October (which was never paid back…) so he wouldn't have to ask other people for money since they all said they no longer wanted to help my parents. Sigh. Yeah. Just a bad scene altogether. So, tonight, asking for money so I could make this move happen. That was hard. I don't ask for stuff. Like ever. I try to be the one who doesn't need any help. And it makes me feel horrible to have to ask. And yeah. Just bad. Sigh. I don't want to think about that any more.

So. I get to move for my birthday this year. I get to move from the worst place ever! Woo! I really, really especially hope that I don't hate my new apartment. And that this works out. And is happiness.