So, Friday I quit at Verizon. Start at Alltel Monday. Hope to hear from T-Mobile sometime soon, as I think I might be able to get on there, and I'd much rather be there. In the meanwhile, though, it's Alltel for me. Quitting was very, very satisfying.
In other news, I feel all kinds of craptacular. Went to the pussy doctor like 2 weeks ago for the uhmm…well…pussy stuff. Got birth control to help with stupidness. Also go migraine stuff. And had bloodwork done. Migrane stuff makes me not be not hungry, and makes food taste funny, and makes me not taste carbonation. Meaning, Pepsi tastes flat. I am so sad. Bloodwork showed that I was more or less ok, except for the pesky bloodsugar..in that..I had none. It was at a…well…basically comatose level. Kinda freaked me the fuck out. I've since realized that I had mostly sustained myself by just drinking Pepsi and eating bites of food here and there. Now that I can't drink the Pepsi, water isn't so much providing me any uhm…well, sugar or anything…and I'm mostly dead. It sucks. Today I was so sick. I couldn't wake up, after I did I felt all kinds of weird…took a FIVE hour nap after being awake only four hours…then nearly passed out while talking on the phone. I'm kinda not pleased. It's dumb to be all broken in the body and stuff. And, it made me really, really sad to realize that I really don't eat. During all the time that I took fooling others, I also fooled myself. You know how some people hide and eat? Yeah, well, I hide my un-eaten meals. Looking back, I can remember doing it lots. I'll make something, take like 3 bites, then just push the food around…then put the dish in the sink under something else so it's not obvious. Or as obvious – at least to me.
Sigh. It's dumb, and I don't like it. Because now I have to actually think about food. And actively force myself to eat. It's not as easy as you might think. You know how when you get the flu or something and you can't eat for like a week, and it's really hard to start eating again? Yeah, well, it's been about 7 years of not eating for me. Which, why I am still fat, I have no freaking clue. I guess when I do manage to eat things, it's just wrong. And my metabolism must be at the pace of a snail or something. But meh. I'm trying. Up till Friday, when the doctor told me the results, and I realized just how bad things were, I had eaten…hmm…probably less than most people eat in a day. You think I lie, but it's the truth. Two bites of ravioli. 3 granola bars. Half a pack of crackers. One sesame chicken dinner thing that I ate over the course of a few days. 3 Stabucks iced cafe mochas. And a veggie burger, no bread. This was Monday-Thursday. ALL that I ate. It's a little scary to think about that. But yes, I'm trying to be better, because I don't like feeling like shit. Being all woozy and not able to stand kinda sucks. And I'd be hella pissed if I passed out and/or went into a coma. That's just not cool. Sigh. Stupid, stupid health. It's dumb and should just go away. And, dood…Wes is all health-retarded now, too! We're like, all old with pills…with refills on them and stuff! At least my heart mostly pumps (when it has the glucose to help it work) unlike him.
