A Ceramic Fish Joint

This has been such a shitty week. I just got back from Baltimore where I saw a foot and ankle specialist regarding my crappy right ankle. I didn’t really get any answers from him. I got a cortisone shot, which he thinks may resolve my pain. Or, if it doesn’t, I have surgery scheduled for Feb 27th. But this surgery apparently has a three month recovery time, which is about how long it took to recover from breaking my ankle in the first place. And he doesn’t know if that will even resolve the problem. I feel like this is very unresolved and I’m uncomfortable about it. My mom thinks I should get a third fourth opinion on it. I’ve seen my primary doctor. I’ve seen an orthopedic surgeon in this area. And now I’ve seen a foot and ankle specialist. It’s just that getting an appointment with another specialist would take at least a month, probably more. And getting the surgery the end of February puts me at healing right around when I need to go back to work. I guess honestly I can have a new leave requested for that reason. I’m kind of afraid they would just deny it and fire me, though.

So there’s that. I don’t know what to do. I’m not confident that a cortisone shot will fix me. I have multiple bone spurs in my ankle joint along with floating cartilage and rough cartilage and a good case of arthritis for a 27 year old. But this surgery seems much more invasive and debilitating than I had been lead to believe by the orthopedic surgeon; that worries me. Then my mom doesn’t want me to have any surgery until I’ve lost weight because of the risks. And finally I can’t imagine being on crutches for up to a month with the dog all up in my business constantly.

Now this is just today. Added to this, my brother is in trouble with the doctor for misappropriating his pills. He had been calling the hospital saying that his doctor wouldn’t prescribe any painkillers (when he had just received a prescription for a 2 week supply upon discharge at the hospital, then five days later he received another prescription for a month supply from his doctor.) The hospital called his doctor, the doctor called him in for a pill count and surprise, he didn’t have any. In fact, he was about 100 short of what he should have had at that point, given the prescriptions he had. And, he had run out days before the pill count because he had been demanding them from my mom. So now he’s discharged from the doctor’s care. My mom is pissed over it, too…because they wanted a pill count from her, too. I guess they figured if he’s selling them or misusing them, there’s a chance she is too. She believes the doctor to be totally in the wrong and is furious. Meanwhile, nobody actually blames Jeremy for being the one to take too many fucking pills. She’s trying to come up with enough to cover the ones he needs so that on her appointment Thursday, she can show them to the doctor and say she had taken them from him. You know, to cover his ass once again.

Meanwhile, they continue to fight. It’s amazing the lengths she will go for him, even when he’s treating her like shit. Oh, and the icing on the cake… He’s having problems with his girlfriend. He’s convinced that I’ve been talking to her and telling her nasty things about him because I hate him so much. Which, to be honest, I do hate him. He even has my cousin in on the crusade. He claims that I begged Mom to shoot him…and he’s told everyone, apparently.

Also, I started to do my taxes this week. It seems that the disability checks aren’t having enough taxes taken out of them, so now I owe money to the IRS. During a time when I’m making less money and trying to save it to move back to Tampa. Fucking hell.

Sometimes I just wish I could have a different life.

A Project 365 post, imagine.

21/365: Redneck Pride

Put yer 3 in the air! Do it for Dale!! *ahem*

22/365: Meerkat Cereal

O.M.G. I can eat my favorite little animals for breakfast now. But what about poor little Shakespear?! Sweet Science that show has too much drama for me.

23/365: Closet

Yeah so this is my closet. Not very neat or organized. Oh well.

24/365: Bun on Bed

Slightly different than Dog on Bed (the norm) we sometimes have Bunny on the Bed time. Tigger the rabbit is a sweetheart.

25/365: Dad with Ducks

My poor dad. My mom insisted on taking this picture. He’s playing with his ducky soap and his light up duckies that he got for xmas. He did want it known that it wasn’t his idea to have his picture taken. Poor dad.

26/365: Hat

I made a hat to match my dad’s xmas scarf. It looks neat.

27/365: Dad with Bun

This is the part of the program before “Bun on Bed.” The rabbit also likes to snuggle up into my dad’s beard and neck. It’s really the sweetest thing ever.

I just had a dream about the foot softening goo I bought. It has emu oil in it, which was my main reason for buying it. Who doesn’t want a little emu on their feet? Anyways, in my dream I was thinking about it, then reading the ingredients. One of them was “Unscrubbed Others” I was flipping the fuck out and going to take a picture to post, then realized I had been asleep. I just can’t even imagine how they’d get unscrubbed others into a tiny jar of goo. Or why my mind would decide that it was a key ingredient.

Clearly, I should never dream again.

A Project 365 post. I’m going to try to designate Sundays as my day to post my pictures.

15/365: Makeup

I own a lot of makeup. Playing around with it comforts me somehow.

16/365: Dog with Cheese

I finally caught him balancing a cheese cube on his nose before eating it.

17/365: Snow

I love the way the weight of the snow makes this branch droop into the yard.

18/365: Vaporizer

My beloved vaporizer.

19/365: Asleeping Dog

He’s elevating his legs to reduce swelling.

20/365: Stretching Dog

The dog stretches his legs on the bed by climbing off with his two front legs and walking until the back ones fall off. He’s weird.

I went to the oral surgeon today for a follow-up visit. Turns out I have an infection where one tooth was. Do you know what they do for that? They use that little scrapey tool to scrape away the infection while irrigating it with COLD water and Mr. Sucky. It hurts. Real bad. Like, so bad that I have marks on my palms where my nails dug in from the fist I was making.

Afterwards, it still hurts. And it bleeds, because the wound was opened. On the plus side, I finally got (two) prescriptions for painkillers today. Hurray Percocet! I’m finally feeling not in pain. I’m going to attempt to eat real food today. Last night I managed some fries and a couple chicken nuggets. That was the first food that wasn’t liquid based or noodles. Today I’m going to try some pizza. We’ll see how that one goes.

In other news, my death cold is slightly better. I can breathe right now, so that’s good. I bought some menthol stuff to use with my vaporizer and have that running so hopefully it will keep the beast at bay. My throat still hurts but regular doses of NyQuil and Sudafed seem to help that, too.

Oh, and I finally got my bank account back in the positive today thanks to being paid back moneys owed to me. I’m not sure when AIG will refund me but I am hoping it is sooner rather than later. I am lucky on the money front, though – yesterday there was a billing snafu at Dreamhost. Had I set my account to auto-renew, they would have billed me a year’s worth of hosting costs. Which would amount to another hundred or so overcharged to me yesterday. And since I don’t get paid until next Tuesday I would have been completely screwed. So yay, bright side!

On another bright side, I managed to sell two seasons of Buffy the other day. It should have shipped today but I didn’t bring them with me when I went out, so it’ll go tomorrow. I had bought seasons 2 and 3 on eBay about two weeks ago. Watched them, then realized that the appeal of Buffy is wearing off for me. So I put them up for sale at Amazon and they sold immediately. I got most of my money back and got to watch both seasons, so I’m pleased. Speaking of TV shows, I rented Lost from Netflix and watched the first three disks yesterday. I never watched the show when it has been on TV…and when Wes was being introduced to it by his boyfriend I enjoyed it initially then it started to piss me off. But I’m thinking that maybe it was Wes and Joe pissing me off rather than the show. I don’t know. Anyway, I’m definitely interested and hate the wait to get more disks. This is the bad thing with having all the time in the world. I really can spend 9 hours of a day watching Lost. Then I have nothing else to watch the next day. Ah well, that is a very petty problem – if one at all.

Well, I believe I’m going to try out the mouth on some pizza. Wish me luck!

There is snow on the ground. Angry, white snow. There’s pain in my mouth (and throat.) Angry red pain. There’s congestion in my head. Angry icky congestion.

I feel like the laws of physics are being defied right now in my head. Too much inside, not enough room. Will explode. Will explode!

I’m still having problems getting painkillers for my hurty self. Dentist won’t refill them until I see him; he can’t see me until tomorrow when I have an appointment anyway. Regular doctor won’t refill them because he didn’t give them to me in the first place (though at the last appointment he offered to do a refill for me.) And the orthopedic surgeon who does prescribe me Percocet…well, he won’t accept requests on Mondays which is why I tried with my regular doctor. I called today, I have to wait until 2pm, about four more hours, to find out if he’ll prescribe them for me. Why is it so damn hard to be pain free these days?

This cold, it is getting worse, too. My throat is angry and sore. My head is angry and congested. My chest is angry and hurty. My sneezes are angry sneezes, the kind that make you bite your tongue. Today is an angry day. Wherein everything is angry at me.

A Project 365 Post.

11/365: Post Wisdom Teeth Day 3

Notice how sad I look? See the hurty swollen? Yeah, it sucks.

12/365: Post Wisdom Teeth Day 4

Look, I’m a real girl again! Little did I know that the bitches would start hurting later this same evening. Oh, and the swelling? Yeah, it comes back.

13/365: Max’s Tongue

I caught him mid-yawn in this picture. Isn’t he sweet?

14/365: Tarnished Earrings

My once silver colored earrings have turned into various shades of bronze, green and ick. Sadly, I have no other hoops to wear in my earlobes, I’ll have to go back to a less comfortable pair.

It’s official. I’m sick. I am still having problems with one former wisdom tooth site. Lots of pain, a little swelling and a general inability to open my mouth. Oh and I still can’t eat solid foods. Well, on top of this, I now have a cold. Or maybe the flu. I don’t know. I have a fever of 100 while taking stuff to keep it down, meaning it probably is a bit higher. I can’t breathe. Oh, and the sneezing. Yeah, we have lots of that. Did you know that sneezing when you just had your wisdom teeth out hurts really bad? Cause it does. Being stabbed in the eye probably feels better.

To top all this off, I’ve run out of painkillers. The dentist was supposed to prescribe more on Friday. He didn’t. My doctor was supposed to write a prescription for me today. He didn’t (but will have it in the morning for me.)

I’m absolutely miserable right now. I don’t understand how my head can produce so much ick, I wish I could breathe and that my throat and not-tooth didn’t hurt so bad and I’m sick of being stuck inside. WHINE.

Also, that latchwork stuff? Is incredibly lame. Even if you’re trying to make a unicorn. A rainbow unicorn. It still sucks and I’m mad that I wasted HOURS of my time and only have like an eighth of it finished. So I went back to knitting, and have actually finally made progress on the scarf intended for my dad. For Christmas. Whoops. I guess I have an out on the whole “being on time with Christmas presents” thing what with the not believing the God is our lord and personal savior and all that. Right?

Anyway, things in WV suck. It’s supposed to snow tonight, which is no fun. And I’m hurty and sick. Which makes the whiny grow exponentially.

If I ever get married. Seriously.

Let me show you them. A Project 365 post.

9/365: Post Wisdom Teeth Day 0. Notice how I have no third molars (not that you could see them anyways. Notice also the chipmunk effect going on round my cheeky bits. Also, notice the pain. The freaking pain!

10/365: Post Wisdom Teeth Day 1. See how sad and puffy I am? Also with the pain. Though today I began eating food other than jello and pudding. I have also had Cream of Wheat and just ate some noodles. For some reason the side that had the severely impacted sideways tooth doesn’t hurt as much – I’m not sure if it’s because it’s on the top or what. My lower left side hurts like a sonabrick. It’s also the most swollen part. I’m taking steroids to help with the swelling, hopefully it will work. The pain isn’t as bad as yesterday but is still pretty freaking bad.

On the menu tonight, I plan to have mashed sweet potatoes. Yum. And maybe cheese soup with smooshed up cauliflower. Also yum. The latter will be possible if we get a hunk o’ Velveeta cheese. The former we already have, just for this occasion. I’m not sure what it is, but I’m so damn hungry right now. I guess knowing that it both hurts to eat and I’m limited in what I’m allowed to eat that’s causing me to psychologically feel that I need to eat a horse. And a duck. And perhaps a small child.