A Ceramic Fish Joint

Oh, my cat has decided that she prefers drinking water from a glass over drinking from her bowl. She’s as bad as my poor late rabbit, Chibi. She would only drink water from a Dr. Seuss mug (which I still have) and she preferred to have bottled water. Somehow I find the weirdest animals.

My dad is back in West Virginia. I’m not sure how long he’ll stay with my mom or what will happen…but I have my couch back. And I haven’t left my couch since he left yesterday. I actually fell asleep on it last night. And again today. Fuck this is an uncomfortable couch!

I have to say that I’ve been having some amazing sex lately. Not sure how I lucked out on it, but I’m a happy girly. Hot sex with hot guys. Yum. I need to keep that up.

Dreamhost finally figured out the problem with my site. And why it had been going down for hours every day. Finally. I realize that I let the problem go for a while because it would always resolve itself, so I’m at fault there. But it took four emails to them and one to my registrar to get the issue straightened out. Seriously. And I had three different answers before the problem was finally found. Jeez! In any case, it’s up now and the thing that caused the problem has been fixed and they upgraded hardware too. Which is always good.

My dad “borrowed” 250 dollars last night without telling me. Which really kind of fucked up my finances. I did confront him about it and he’s said he would pay me back. We’ll see how that works out. He’s apparently leaving on Tuesday. My mom has been flipping the fuck out. She’s threatened to kill herself a couple times. But that’s nothing new. Her and Jeremy aren’t getting along. She’s spent all her money and thinks that dad has been lying to her and taking her money for years. She just doesn’t get things – like the cost of living. So anyway, he’s going back. I don’t believe they’re going to be back together when he’s up there. And I’m sadly being dragged into the middle of it all. I hope it gets better once he leaves. At least I won’t have to hide away in my room when he wants to go to sleep – and listen to the tv from the living room. That drives me crazy!

I got a very unexpected phone call tonight from the guy who made me all sad last week. I’m really not sure what to make of it. I have to admit that it felt really good to hear his voice, though. But I’m confused, very confused.

I have birthday festivities tomorrow at Kimm’s house. Small gathering of good people. Ceci is supposed to go with me, so that should be fun. And Brett is going to try to make it, too. It was so awesome to hang out with him a couple weeks ago – I had forgotten how much fun we had working together. Stupid work firing good contractors. At least he’s back in FL and able to hang out sometimes. Of course I love Kimm and Joe and it’s always good to see them…and I think Nick and Sharon will be there. I just met them a few weeks ago but they seem like good people. Plus they want to hang with me as I get older. What’s not to love about that? Oh, and if anyone wants to buy me anything – I totally need THIS. Andy says he doesn’t <3 me $300 worth so somebody else has to step up. Please?

Happy Pi Day everyone!

So it’s my birthday week. Which means that it’s also the week of SXSW. I know I only went one year, but had such an awesome time. And it was one of those things I always wanted to do. I assumed I would get to keep going every year and that just hasn’t happened. Last year I had just started the new position at the data center and couldn’t take a week off just yet. This year, two things stopped me. First, I had to come back to work suddenly – had I still been on leave I would be in Austin right now. Second, since I’m back at work after a leave I have no saved up personal time. Well, I have 5 hours but that’s not going to get me very far.

It sucks. I keep reading Tweets from people at SXSW, or their blogs and it makes me sad. Fuck, I almost went to read Allison Headley’s page because thinking about her being there makes me want to throw up. Damn, even Halcyon – who I used to hate just because he was him – managed to make it this year. And now I’m all about the John Styn love. Seriously, Hugnation, give it a try.

This week also sucks because it’s my birthday week. And, well…my birthdays suck. Usually I can get away with working through the day and just dealing what what the universe throws at me (and believe me, it’s a lot on the ides.) But this year it happens smack dab in the middle of a fucking weekend. Everyone would be all yay to that, but that means I’m going to have to go out. Or something. Why do birthdays have to be a big deal? It’s just another passing day; a vestigial mode of time measurement.

In any case, I really had hoped to be not here next weekend. If I had more money and a little more time I would take off for a few days. Get away from the father. From the mundane. Even though I’m back in Tampa it seems like I’ve already gotten myself into a bit of a rut. A trip to Vegas might help that. However, a trip to Vegas cannot be pulled off. And that’s really my own fault. I’ve spent so much money in the past week or so. Bought a tv. Bought a new blackberry. Expensive haircut. Much Lush. Much new makeup. New shoes. Rent. Then, the funny part – I’m all comparing prices at the grocery store. The fuck? I just blew through at least 2000 bucks in five days and I’m worried that the tortillas are 48 cents more than some other brand?

The one thing that makes me sad is that with all the money I’ve been spending lately – which is a lot – I need a new damn laptop. I’m perfectly content to get a MacBook….I don’t need the MacBook Pro. But that’s still another, what, 1300 dollars? It will have to be done in the next month or two though because Lola, she is dying. I get about 40 minutes of battery life out of her now. She’s so hot when she’s running that it hurts. Oh, and the whole screen going blank sometimes. Or shutting off randomly. Yeah, not good things. I knew I should have bought the Apple Care warranty thing. I was just – oh…I’ll have the dollars when she dies in 2 years and just buy whatever new shiny Mac they have out. Sigh.

So I woke up all early today. At like 4am. I guess it was because I fell asleep on the couch at 9. Just wasn’t feeling good this weekend. I had a lovely migraine on Saturday night and still can’t shake the after effects. Anyway, so I’m realizing that today is Monday. Have to be back at work. And the one thing that I really have to do at work besides checking all the HVACs is to do tapes. Monday = crazy lot of tapes. Last Monday there were eight boxes. We tried to check to see how many would be coming in last week, but the list was too large to display for today. I am not a happy camper. And the Iron Mountain guy who comes on Mondays is always late. So I won’t get them until 2:30 or so. Grump, grump, grump. On the positive side, my manager is taking a long weekend, so I’ll work alone this Thursday and next Monday. Hurray!

Hmm, I really should find my flat iron and make my hairs look pretty. So much for trying to nap.

“Pantheism is sexed-up atheism; deism is watered-down theism.” via Clusterflock.

Remind me to please not write things all out in the public when I’m upset. It just never turns out good.

Things are better today than they have been all week. Kimm came home last night and I got to see her. Andy asked me to come hang out with him on his lunch today. I got a kickass haircut yesterday from my favorite stylist. And I’ve picked up so many prizes for myself.

Let’s see. Yesterday….

Went to the Brandon Mall…got a sample of body butter. Went to Sephora and got…CK nailpolish, Urban Decay eyeshadow in Asphyxia (basically pink as fuck) Sugar eyeshadows in grassy green and pink, a wee bitty sample of a Cargo eyeshadow that’s an awesome bright shimmery green and then, as a birthday gift from them I got cupcake bodywash. Oh and I got a sample of some face stuff and Honey Hair Mimosa – which is the best stuff ever.

Today…

Went to see the Andy, then was on search of foodstuffs. I was going to eat at Cheesecake Factory but the line was crazy so I ended up getting crappy foodcourt foods. Then I had to buy new shoes because my other ones (which are new and were being worn the first time) had been eating holes in my feet. So I have cute little sandals by Crocs. THEN I went to Lush – they were having one of their fabulous parties. I got lots of free stuff like Snow Fairy shower gel (it has sparkles) and soaps and bubble bars and face goo. Plus I bought a giant bath bomb/easter egg that has soap and a bubble bar inside. PLUS I got a few of my favorites – butterball bath bomb, Dreamtime bath melt, and Yuki-Hi bath bomb. The last makes me smell all yummy and have shimmers on me.

I’m a happy girly girl right now.

Oh, I forgot the best things! I went into HotTopic and found a Gir cellphone charm. I’m not a big fan of cell charms…but it’s Gir! And a hotdog! And cute as hell. I also found a thing of lip gloss that just so happens to be in the shape of a robot. For me. OneHotRobot. Very exciting.

I’m thinking that I’m going to buy the tools and make myself a pretty pink birthday cake next week. I’m sure that it’ll end up costing more to buy everything (I need pans and a mixer and everything) than to just pick up an already made cake….but baking is so much fun for me. Plus, I can make a pink as fuck cake. No really, I’ve done it before.

So now I just have to figure out what to do on my birthday. Generally it’s spent being all inside and away from harm but Kimm thinks I need to do something fun. So we’ll see. Last year was a pretty okay birthday, but I had someone determined to make it awesome for me. Not saying that Kimm wouldn’t…but she won’t be giving me birthday orgasms. And they’re the best present of all.

Powered By TheirToys

Going cold turkey off of Paxil = not a good thing. Xanax, even in HIGH doses, is so not helping. Wine is not helping. I’m all weepy over potentially the stupidest thing. I just hate when people get all non-communicative. Fucking hell. I just wonder what the the threshold for me and Xanax is. Right now I’ve taken twice the highest amount I’ve ever taken and it’s still not fucking working.

I know I’m probably being overly sensitive. But, you know…you have an awesome neverending night with someone. You click. Things are good. You make plans for X day…he ends up having a bad day and wants to hang out tonight. I had other shit to do. So I just didn’t do it. And got into a fight with my dad to get him to leave quickly. And then I hear nothing. He has his phone off. Finally, a half hour after he was supposed to be here he sends me an sms that says he’s not up to it…sorry. And that’s it. Doesn’t tell me if I pissed him off or offended him. Doesn’t tell me if we’re still on tomorrow. Won’t respond to any of more of my sms messages. But I’m really sad. I don’t get how he called me on my way to work this morning and three more times through the day…then nothing. What the fucking hell?

And seriously, I’ve been crying now for almost an hour and a half. Perhaps I’m not ready for the stress. Or maybe I need the Paxil. I just really miss the orgasms.

I hate boys sometimes.