A Ceramic Fish Joint

I love Halloween, I really do. Scary movies come out. The Simpsons Treehouse of Horrors is on. There’s candy corn. What’s not to like?

So I’ve watched three movies and the Simpsons special in the past 24 hours. Some highlights:

Zombieland: Fucking awesome. Reinforces my newfound/undeniable/what-the-fuck attraction to older men. Woody Harrelson? Yeah. I’d hit that. Ever since the Mickey and Mallory Knox days. Cause obviously I have always been a huge fan of Natural Born Killers.

Tangent time – I remember being like 14 or 15 and watching it every single day. Every. Single. Day. I had gotten mono, and being confined to bed most of the time for nearly a month made me bored. So my dad hooked me up with some movie channels. And pay per view. I spent money earned from report cards and babysitting to buy movies like Natural Born Killers and porn. All was good as long as I paid for it. Anyway, a friend of mine argued over the awesomeness of Natural Born Killers because The Crow was SOOOOO much better since Crow-guy was hot. Who was that guy anyway? Didn’t he die? I’m too lazy to open another tab to see. But, it’s clear who won the debate (uh, me?) because Natural Born Killers remains an awesome movie were as The Crow has been long forgotten and the little emo kids are all about Twilight now. Go emo kid, go!

Anyway, Zombieland. Very good movie. The little girl? Abigail whatever? She is an awesome actress at the ripe old age of like 12. Or 15. Whatever. Little Miss Sunshine, My Sister’s Keeper and now – Zombieland. Probably others, but she is really talented. Can’t place older chick. Then there’s the younger guy who I totally had decided was Michael Cerra but isn’t. Identities are hard. Then, Woody Harrelson. I get chills thinking about it. He took such great pride in killing zombies. And as you know, I am a firm zombie supporter. They didn’t mean to become zombies. It’s like being gay. It’s not a life choice, it’s just something that happens. Except being gay generally means impeccable grooming and a flair for design whereas zombie means braaaains. Even the big criticism of reiterating the “rules” didn’t bother me. In all, I thought the movie was totally funny in almost a Shaun of the Dead sort of way. It didn’t go quite so far into that silly territory, and there were more than a few serious moments.

There were many laughs in the mostly-empty theater. Of course, there were more times that I alone was laughing because, well…zombies. And getting screwed by girls. And fucking shit up. Really, that’s the only phrase. Fucking shit up.

Apart from the flashback to A Clockwork Orange, when they arrived in LA I couldn’t help but remember the last aired episode of Dollhouse. You know, Dollhouse – my Whedonesque love? Topher (Fran Kranz, my totally awesome and brilliant on the show TV fling) decides to do a remote wipe of one of the actives. Worried that he’d be out in LA with no brain or personality (essentially a zombie without the munchies) he assures the higher-ups that the active would blend right in. Because LA is chock full of mindless pretty people.

Hmm, thinking about these two subtle connections to other popular media reminds me of being in college, taking all of these philosophy and literature classes and drawing similarities between the two. James Joyce? Meet Socrates (recording Plato’s ideas.) Are there no new ideas?

Anyway, LOVED Zombieland. LOVED it. Still curious why Tallahassee painted a 3 on each of his vehicles. Maybe the age of his son? Cause it’s certainly not the zombie count. Also, Zombie Kill of the Week was a very special touch.

I’ll briefly mention the zombie skit in the Simpsons to keep the zombie rolling. It was good, a little twisted (which is good) especially zombie Homer who speaks in sentences comprised primarily of the word “brains.” Then there was the whole eating food that Bart bathed in. Mmmmm, Bart-soup. (Wait! That’s a throwback sorta to a previous treehouse of horrors wherein the budget was cut so they started eating the kids in detention! Except they only wanted to eat Bart this time but came to a compromise with Bart-soup.) Anyway, not the best Treehouse of Horrors ever but I doubt it’s the worst. Besides, I love the Treehouse of Horrors episodes and am happy that they actually got it out before Halloween this time. Last year they were over a week late.

When I first decided to write about Zombieland, I had put it off a bit and actually forgotten about another favorite dark and dirty movie I watched the same day. So it was going to be two zombies and one psychopathic serial killer. Then, I remembered.

American Psycho. Now that we’re getting closer to Halloween, not only are there scary movies in theaters but also on IFC and the “Chiller” channel. Plus, I’m pretty sure there’s an Encore channel devoted to mysteries or something that will be running a scary movie marathon soon. Anyway, A couple hours before I saw Zombieland, I watched American Psycho courtesy of IFC and the DVR.

LOVE this movie. Everyone is so creepy. And, of course, I have to run to imdb.com every few minutes to remember who a particular actor is. Alby’s in it! Little gay Alby from Big Love is power broker (gay) Brice on American Psycho! I guess what I love most about this movie is the obsession with music. He’s killing people and explaining the importance of Hewie Lewis and the News, etc. And I had forgotten Chloë Sevigny was in it. Sister to little gay Alby in Big Love. I’ve loved her for forever. And honestly didn’t realize her first role was in Kids. She’s the little indie queen I love. Gummo? Julian Donkey Boy? Hell, Gummo made a whole town mad (Xenia, OH) because of the portrait it painted. Which wasn’t so pleasant.

Then there’s Jared Leto. Who didn’t have a crush on him watching My So-Called Life? Little bit of a bad boy never hurt anyone. Except, of course, him. In the course of the movie, that is. Ah, the 80s. New Wave brought us into the decade and, well…I can’t really describe the music that took us out. Pop-rock, maybe? The money in finance, the coke, the super exclusive restaurants (wait…that happens now) and the battle over business cards. That last part is surely enough to drive an almost-sane person to serial killer mode. And, sure, it doesn’t entirely jive with the book. But I’m not talking books here. We already know my feelings on A Clockwork Orange omitting the 21st chapter, thus changing the movie. And I Am Legend? Yeah. Take that, ending.

No, in American Psycho there’s such a beauty and delicateness to the brutality. It was a good Sunday morning watch. Get me geared for the day and such.

Finally, Mr. Frost. Oh, Mr. Frost. Mr. Frost, the devil incarnate, played by long-haired/often shirtless Jeff Goldblum. Yes, Jeff Goldblum as not only a serial killer but as EVIL itself. Take that, Hollywood. Or god. Or whomever. Just take it. I loved this movie. It’s very dark. Not just in tone but it’s actually a darkly lit movie. I’m not entirely sure if it’s on DVD, but Netflix has the play it now option. Now what’s curious (besides the name – Mr. Frost is the devil?) is the whole idea that “the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” And in the movie the idea is to get a non-believer to believe in him. (Some might argue that the greatest trick the devil pulled was convincing people that Jesus was the Messiah. But that’s the lesser known idea so we’ll stick with the first.)

So in all his creepy, yet sexy, glory Jeff Goldblum as Mr. Frost as the Devil goes on a bit of a killing spree with the expectation he would be caught, it seems. Because he has a higher purpose. Being outcast from Heaven and all. Purpose. Also, speech. At least, that’s what is claimed in the movie as the reason Mr. Frost refuses to speak to anyone except the one non-believer. Now, I can’t find anywhere that this diabolical creature created words or speech. Besides, I’m not sure how it would help his agenda. Especially considering his refusal to speak, saying essentially that it’s beneath him.

In all, it was an okay movie. I know I’m biased with the Goldblumian love, but the acting from everyone BUT him was lackluster. He pretty much made the film. Not many special effects, but those present were in true 1989 glory. But, the best part – for me anyway – is that this is a Jeff Goldblum who isn’t my father’s age and he’s still hot! Maybe the silver fox thing is a fluke and I just kinda dig certain weird people. In any case, it’s worth checking out but not a completely awesome movie. Unless you want to have 10,000 of Jeff Goldblum’s babies (and who wouldn’t, really?) Very apropos timing with the evil and the Halloween and all.

Is it just me or is Jeff Goldblum partially or totally topless in most of his movies? An open shirt, even during Adam Resurrected. Open shirt during Jurassic Park. And Independence Day. Not a complainer here, but I’m wondering how it’s in all these scripts. Does he demand the opportunity to show off his well-built torso? As a form of attracting people towards him? Or is it written into the script in hopes that people, like me, with the Goldblum-love will forgive the mistakes because…dude…half naked Jeff Goldblum.

Because I clearly haven’t said it enough: Jeff Goldblum.

There are two different stories I’ve read this week that have brought up the question of a soul.  One takes apart the TV show Dollhouse and the ethical questions of “wiping” a person’s memory and implanting new ones – where does the body end and soul begin, basically. (link)  The second comes from Soul Pancake, delving into the question of “Should the Godless be allowed to Marry?” (link)

I’m not sure where to even begin.  I guess I should first make note of a study I recently read (granted, the study was done in like 1908) calculating the weight of a person’s spirit by weighing the person as they were dying and calculating the weight loss immediately after death.  In case you’re curious, it equals about 3/4 of an ounce.  And normally happens within a short time frame, though there was an instance where the dear doctor thought his theory might be disproved because the weight loss took over a minute in one subject.  He later attributed it to the person being “slow of mind” and therefore the soul being a bit slow, too – perhaps not realizing the body it inhabited was no longer alive.

I haven’t seen any other studies of this type, which in my scientific mind makes sense.  Because who, really, should be studying the prospect of a soul and its weight and when it leaves the body.  Seriously.  I also wonder if the weight loss that apparently occurs after death isn’t the soul leaving, but rather the bodily fluids being evacuated.  Of course, I don’t know the guidelines for the study, so I’m not sure if they just had the people laying on a big slab-o-scales, which would also measure anything – uh – tangible that left the body and wound up on the slab or what.  Also?  Who the fuck takes dying people and puts them on a scale while they wait for death?  That’s kind of creepy.  That’s like, reanimate a severed dog head creepy.

Why yes, I have been reading a lot of Cracked.com lately – why do you ask?

At any rate, I’d have to say that I don’t believe in this concept of a soul.  It’s something created by society (and its need for religion to maintain cohesiveness) and is mainly used by religion.  One’s soul is reincarnated into X in the next life based on one’s works in this life, and consequently the works in past lives.  Then there’s the religions who believe that a soul goes to a hereafter.  Both provide a lot of comfort – when this life ends there’s everlasting life to look forward to.  Except for if you’re a bad person then you wind up in Limbo or Hell.  Depending.

So, there’s my own background that you’re likely fully familiar with.  The sum of my being is created solely by the synapses in my brain.  I have a high functioning brain thanks to my genetic code creating a human instead of a toad.  So, you know, I think – therefore I am.  Thank you Descartes.  Not only did you advance modern philosophy, but you had a major hand in determining life versus death.  Once those higher brain functions stop, so do I.  My actions aren’t motivated by the fear of something bad (Hell, Limbo, coming back as a goat…wait, a goat would be kind of cool) but rather by a set of moral standards that I’ve created.  And, hell, sometimes I’m a bad person and don’t really care.  Mostly I try to help others and do things without the promise of a reward now or later.   Because remember, it’s a cold, cold existential world out there.

Now, with the first article, we’re dealing with people who have had reason to escape their life for whatever reason – like they’re going to go to jail or whatever.  They give up x amount of years to play doll for clients, each time with a new personality put in.  But it appears that sometimes they aren’t completely wiped of the new person their body holds.  Which begs the question – is their soul holding on to parts of the personality AND have parts of their original self been left behind?

With the second, there is an idea – or a question – presented regarding who is eligible for marriage.  This irks me because, come on.  Already there’s such strife on gay marriage.  Even gay marriage by god-fearing people.  Who believe their faith allows their behavior.  I certainly don’t disagree with the latter, I think that any religious text can be interpreted to allow or forbid just about anything.  Up to and including homosexuals.  And they should have the same rights as everyone else.  Hell, even women are allowed to vote, work, drive and own land now!  Why can’t two women participate in a ceremony in which they promise to devote themselves to one another?

And really, with that said, why does a god have to be present (or omnipresent) in ceremonies like marriage?  Does that make it any more valid?  I think that if one chooses to get married, it’s really about the two people involved.  Including family is, in my opinion, a courtesy.  Because family isn’t going to make the marriage work.  A priest isn’t, either (unless it’s in the form of counseling, which you can also pay an unbiased person to handle.)  It’s up to the two people promising one another whatever it is they choose to promise.

Now this leads to another little tidbit about me.  Marriage has never been a priority for me.  Sometimes, as I get older (and my ovaries twinge) I get lonely, want kids (for a microsecond) and think marriage to an imaginary someone is the Best. Idea. Ever.  But when I really think about it, I’m fairly certain I would only marry if I found the right person – whomever I couldn’t think of living without – and if it was a deal breaker to not be married.  I wasn’t the little girl planning her dream wedding.  i can’t even imagine it.  Okay, maybe I can imagine a lovely Vera Wang number with either a pair of the wedding Fluevogs or a kickass pair of Louboutins. Oh, and a zombie wedding cake.  Or dinosaur one.  Or a zombie wedding cake and a dino grooms’ cake (cause if he loved me enough to demand marriage, he’d love me enough to indulge my cake needs.  Also, both would be red velvet – because both zombies and dinosaurs have blood and gore on the inside.)  But seriously, I don’t see the point.  What is it now – half of marriages end in divorce?  Why bother?  Why spend the money on a wedding when a vacation with lots of sex is way more fun.  Especially if I can wear Fluevogs or Louboutins.  Hmm, there is a pattern.  A shoe pattern.

But I don’t believe in soul-mates.  Or love at first sight.  I think there is a bit of chemistry that occurs between people, but feel that it’s more a matter of pheromones and personalities that click together just like Lego blocks.  Also, great sex.  That’s important, too.  But I refer again to the Lego block theory.  Some people just work well together.  None of this refers to a soul, though.

All this said, I certainly don’t think I’ll be a miserly old cat lady.  The prospect of sharing a life with someone, for however long, is very appealing.  I just don’t think that there’s one person out there for me; one soul mate.  Because with the whole lack of soul part, a soul mate is a bit of a misnomer.   (Though, as I said in a previous post, I’m sure I could find an accent-mate.  Accents are totally where it’s at.)   And as for the question posted on Soul Pancake, whether the godless should be allowed to marry – and therefore the “souled” people.  As far as I can tell, the concept of a soul is the unique creation of religion, so a godless person would be a soulless person.  My overall answer to questions like that stays the same – as long as your decisions, your choices and your actions aren’t going to hurt anyone (besides yourself, potentially) why the hell shouldn’t you?

In response to my call for things which require my answers/elaboration, I give you:

Best movie of 2008? Favorite movie all time? And why?

Hmm, best movie of 2008?  I actually didn’t have the opportunity to watch many new movies last year.  I’m going to bore you with the ones I have seen, though.

27 dresses

adam resurrected

australia

the boy in the striped pajamas

burn after reading

the dark knight

frost nixon

hancock

the happening

lakeview terrace

mamma mia

made of honor

the pineapple express

the other boleyn girl

rachel getting married

revolutionary road

role models

the secret life of bees

sex and the city movie

x files 2

zack and miri make a porno * (Okay, total honesty, I haven’t seen this but DO have it at home and am waiting for the right time to watch it.  Meaning, when my head isn’t about to explode.  I also kinda <3 Seth Rogen.)

Okay, I guess I watched a few more movies than I realized.  And am too lazy to capitalize. There were a lot more that I missed and really wanted to see, though.  I have to say, the top three movies that I saw from 2008 are: The Dark Knight, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas and Adam Resurrected.

The Dark Knight: Okay, all this hype about it, right?  I wasn’t even going to see it.  I’m not overly obsessed with Batman, anyway.  But then people said it really was worth all the hype.  So Netflix sent it to me and I was in awe.  Total fucking awe.  It was brilliant!  Dark and gripping.  Having me root for the bad guys like I normally do (because there’s no place in entertainment for good guys if the bad guys don’t exist.)  The special effects were awesome and not too overdone, like I had feared.  In all, a kickass movie.  Would watch again.

The other two are the Holocaust movies.  For some reason, I’ve been in this mood to learn as much as I can about Jewish persecution, about Nazi Germany and the effects of the Holocaust on both Jews and Gentiles.

So first one watched was The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.  I loved the innocence of the movie, of the characters.  It’s kind of chilling to know that only a few members of the Nazi party were actually privy to the actions happening on the other side of the fence.  Sure, Jews were still vilified a bit – like a mangy dog being kicked to the gutter.  Don’t look directly at the Jew, kid!  Don’t touch the Jew – you might get Jew-juice on you!

Anyway, this movie had me enraptured from start to finish and I even made my parents watch it.  That’s how much I loved it.  Obviously, not a “loved it” because it’s a sweet story, loved it because of the emotion and the gut-wrenching.  Loved it because this horrible event happened not that long ago and it’s important for people to remember.  Which is exactly why I loved the next movie.

Adam Resurrected: Okay, I have to admit that I may have added this to my Netflix queue initially to quell my obsession with Jeff Goldblum.  Seriously, the man is hot.  And weird.  And has a bit of a staccato speech pattern.  Or maybe it’s just stuttering.  Who cares; I <3 me some Jeff Goldblum and am totally not ashamed to admit it.

*ahem*

So, when I read about the movie I was kind of hooked.  Jeff Goldblum playing Holocaust survivor and famous entertainer Adam Stein.  Doing more research I learned that he had lost a crazy amount of weight (something like 30 pounds on his freakishly tall but thin AND athletic body) and had trained a lot with dogs.  Because, you see, to save his life Adam Stein was taken in by an officer whose life he once saved then ordered to perform for the officer.  As a dog.  Sleep on the floor, fight the resident dog for food and only walk on “all fours.”  Most of the Holocaust images were flashbacks.  The story is actually taking place at an institution for survivors some 10ish (?) years after the war ended.  Trying to help them reintegrate into society.  Adam Stein is a brilliant man – absolutely brilliant, but wants none of the therapy.  He does decide, however, to start helping the other “residents” in his own fucked up way.

Okay, so this film moved me so much I even wrote a review on Netflix.  The first time I’ve ever done that.  While there were some weaknesses (Goldblum couldn’t keep up the German accent consistently, especially with his trademark aha’s and uhmms and whatnot) and there was also very little background about the institution, and why the doctors let Adam run it like they did.  But.  It is such a good movie.  Not for the faint of heart.

It will make you feel.  It will make you think.  It will take you completely out of your comfort zone.  These are the kinds of movies I like.

Besides those dark movies, I also loved Burn After Reading, City of Men, and the girlie movies Mamma Mia, 27 Dresses, Made of Honor, Secret Life of Bees and The Other Boleyn Girl.

Actually, The Other Boleyn Girl holds a soft spot for me.  I love period piece movies, especially when well-executed.  Then you give me Ann Boleyn and a (near) finale of her beheading and, well…I’m a happy girl.  I’m also a big fan of Royal History, so that’s fun for me as well.  And I swear I didn’t even think of Princess Amadala at all when I saw Natalie Portman.  Plus, people have been saying that Natalie Portman is incapable of acting and had minor successes playing a couple of teen roles wherein she didn’t have to go much outside of her own self to “act” – I completely disagree.  She’s absolutely awesome and evil (and it takes a LOT to be evil, especially playing a Boleyn) in The Other Boleyn Girl so, you know, kudos and all.

Wow, all this for top movie of last year.  Jeez.  I need to watch The Wrestler – I love Daron Arronofsky (the director) and hate to miss his work.  He’s the genius behind Pi: Truth in Chaos, Requiem for a Dream and The Fountain.   Love.  I’d also like to see The Reader and Milk.  And I guess Slumdog Millionaire if we’re going to get all “critically acclaimed” movies about it.  They’re all in the Netflix queue, but rather low right now, because of the Goldbumian love.  Dude.  He’s been in a LOT of stuff.  Then again, he’s been acting for forever.

Ok, second part of the question. Favorite movie of all time?

Another hard one for me.  I can’t say that I’m in complete love with 2008’s selections enough to place them in my top five.  But I will *try* to give a top five.

1: American Beauty: Brilliant in its time, and still brilliant a decade later.  Okay, maybe not a decade.  But consider that most movies are very, very date-sensitive, I think this one will stand the test of time.  Also, I’ve read a bit lately about how Alan Ball writes the same damn storyline for everything.  I don’t see it.  Sure, there’s the whole death and realizing one’s own happiness and potential.  But I think there is a completely different message he conveys in his plots: beauty.  And maybe a little death.  But mostly beauty, unconventional beauty.  Besides, the performances in this movie completely rock my socks.  Annette Benning?  Holy cow, show rocked that role.  It was scary watching her after the open house scene.  Kevin Spacey played Lester to perfection.  The entire damn ensemble was fucking amazing.  For these reasons (and others) American Beauty will stay one of my most favorite movies ever.

2: Donnie Darko: C’mon, how can you not love the little movie that could?  There’s Donnie Darko – some kind of super hero, Grandma Death (Roberta Sparrow) – nun turned well, crazy lady obsessed with time travel and Frank the Bunny aka Controller/Protector of Donnie aka boyfriend of Donnie Darko’s sister Elizabeth (also sister in real life.)  It’s dark, it’s twisted, Patrick Swayze has a kiddie porn dungeon and then everything resets itself in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, 12 seconds (that is when the world will end.)  I like even numbers.  Also, how can one not love a movie that only got made because of incredible generosity of a lot of amazing talent.  It was made in 28 days for just over 4 million and was on limited release the month after 9/11.  28 days – pretty important theme.  But, it actually garnered the cult status once re-released the following year internationally and on DVD.  (Also, after the re-release, t had midnight screenings in NYC’s East Villiage for 28 months.)

Now, Donnie Darko 2 had very little to do with the original – different director, etc…all except for little sister Samantha Darko.  Huge waste.  That said, writer/director Richard Kelly is responsible for the upcoming movie “The Box” which, I might have not watched had the screenplay not been his and the movie directed by him.  So, yeah.  Watching it.  Even with Cameron Diaz – not a huge fan of hers.  But, it looks like it will include all the stuff I enjoy in movies – science fiction, thrillers, psychological aspect and horror bits.

I love dark psychological thrillers and this one definitely fits the bill.  Sure there are inconsistencies (like the fact that it was placed in 1988 yet one of the prominent songs, Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear us Apart” wasn’t released until the next year.  Besides that, there are AWESOME quotes from the movie.  I’ll keep them to myself since I have 3 more favorites to go.  Except for one.  “Suck a fuck.”  Yes, suck a fuck.  How does one suck a fuck?  Well, we’ll never know since Elizabeth wasn’t allowed to elaborate at the dinner table.  But: Suck a fuck.

3: Jurassic Park: Seriously, you thought I’d skip this one?  Seriously?  I watched it for the first time with the kids I babysat most frequently.  (Also watched Titanic with them for the first time; they were cool kids.)  I was completely enthralled.  Sure, sometimes it’s lame.  Sure, the raptors they used and referred to were actually like 3 feet tall (but ones who fit the description were discovered shortly after.  Still.)  I don’t care.  I love this movie.  I love the sequels, even the third one to a degree.  I love Jeff Goldblum being all weird and strangely sexy (does he ever DO a movie with his shirt fully on?) and also quirky and I-told-you-so-ish.  How can I not love this man who is old enough to be my father (actually, he is one year older than my mom, one year younger than my dad.  I don’t care.  LOVE.)  Also, I kind of dig dinosaurs.  Along with other things that eat people.  Bad guys, zombies, monsters.  I’m the one who claps when the evil things come on screen.  Nero?  *clap* Raptors? *clap!* Zombies? *clap clap clap*  This is also one of the movies (along with JP 2, not so much JP 3) that I will watch over and over again.  Like hundreds of times.  I fall asleep to it.  That’s how much I love it.  The sound of dinosaurs eating the humans is soothing and helps me sleep.

4:  Serenity: I can’t not mention this.  I was a late bloomer to the Whedonverse.  I didn’t actually watch his shows Buffy and Angel until their final seasons.  That’s where I first saw Nathan Fillion and Gina Torres.  Totally missed the fact that Firefly was on the air because I wasn’t a huge fangirl – yet.  So then Serenity is coming out and looks awesome.  I see it, fall in love, and immediately buy Firefly.  And wear out the DVDs.  Along with my Serenity DVD.  These are the other things I watch to go to sleep.  Reavers, the people who aren’t really people anymore because the government wanted to make everyone safer and instead created PEOPLE-EATING non-zombies.  I love the chemistry of the cast.  I love all of the cast.  I would totally not be upset to be a part of a Firefly/Serenity orgy.  Not upset one bit.

Seriously, though.  There’s those bits of humanity in it, where you can see the chemistry between the crew (and ultimately the actors, if you watch what you’ve seen on the internets.)  There’s action.  The mule-chase by Reavers, the dive through the air to get to Mr. Universe through ships all over the place and shrapnel everywhere; it’s good.  Maybe there’s a little sloppy pod-racing stuff, but maybe not.  Especially when you hear “I’m a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar.”

So, for a Whedon based space-western idea with an entirely fuckable cast (seriously – every single one of them) great dialog and amazing acting (thank you Joss Whedon for bringing it all together) and a kickass idea, Serenity will always be a favorite for me.

Oh gods.  I only have one option left.  Panic.  Do I go with a foreign film to show my broad tastes?  Critically acclaimed movie?  Something totally random?  Zombies?  Totally independent?  Jeez…so many choices.  I’ll throw out a few of my other favorites, with no reasoning, before picking number five.  And maybe number five will come from those.  Who knows.

Run Lola Run, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Gattaca, Star Trek (the new one,) Amores Perros, Y Tu Mama Tambien, The Science of Sleep (okay, the last 3 feature the same lead actor – whatever, they’re still awesome,) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Jim Carrey is GOOD in dramatic roles, just like Man on the Moon!) Little Miss Sunshine, Dawn of the Dead (the remake,) Children of Men, Two Days In Paris, Natural Born Killers, Permanent Midnight, Requiem for a Dream, Pi, The Fountain (yeah, already said I <3 Darren Aronofsky) The Life Aquatic (with minimal Goldblum) and I <3 Huckabees.  Damn, there are so many more but I’ve gotta stop with these.

5: Hard one.  And one I haven’t watched in a while but still love.  A Clockwork Orange.  Kickass director (Kubrick) kickass author (Anthony Burgess) and kickass story.  It’s so wrong that it’s very, very right.  From the milk bars with alcoholic milk coming from the nipples of naked statues of women (and naked women tables) to the irony of finding solace in the very home where you brutally raped the wife and paralyzed the husband, to the insane torture methods which ruined the one almost-healthy thing about our protagonist (his love of classical music, especially Beethoven’s 9th) and the retribution of his former mates, er droogs.

Of course, one has to complain that the movie only spanned the first 20 chapters of the book, completely missing the whole point of the story.  Still, it’s a favorite.  And if you think back to when the film was conceived, only the first 20 chapters of the book were available in the US; the 21st considered “too controversial.”  So, I suppose you can’t fault the movie for it.  I suppose.  This one may be slightly biased because I became obsessed with Anthony Burgess around the same time I discovered this movie.  And the fact that he fucking created a language – Nadsat – (a slang one, of course) for the book, and the fact that I STILL use parts of that language today (can you say “Viddy well?”) makes it more awesome.  Sure, maybe other writers have created language, did little mash-ups of language (Finnegan’s Wake, anyone?)  but few have translated to the screen.  And, sure, the entirely made-up slang/language is based on real language; but who doesn’t love eggy-wegs, glassballs or glassies, soomka, droog and, my personal favorite, the old in-out.  Which leads to my favorite quote of all, “No time for the old in-out, love, I’ve just come to read the meter.”  LOVE.

It’s always so hard for me to narrow down movies that I love because without a doubt there’s almost always something I can take from a movie that I love.  I’ve missed a lot of movies from 2009 that I wanted to see…but will get to it eventually.  (Though, the 3 I did get to see in the theater, District 9, Star Trek and My Sister’s Keeper all in their own special way.)  This is why Netflix is a necessity just like car insurance.  Movies make my head and heart happy.

This is just a quickie non-post to tide all three of you over until a post-post is ready. Right now, I’m working on entries to answer all of the questions I was asked (by ONE of my three loyal readers. C’mon, other two! Give me something to worthy of ramblings! Please?) But I got a little sidetracked. I’ve actually nearly finished about half of those questions and have little outlines on the other pre-planned entries plotted out. Totally unconventional blogging: I haz it. Seriously, it’s kind of unlike me to write this way. I’m much more a stream-of-consciousness writer. Hence the rambling. But, I find that I’m not communicating as effectively as I could. Plus, I do have a deepening desire to write. Like, for-real write. The years of being told to write a book by so many people coupled with my complete lack of anything to do anymore and the hope that creating a concrete record of my own history and experiences is weighing on me in a way.

For the longest time, I felt like I didn’t possess the skills needed to pull off writing much of anything “official” – especially something as daunting as a memoir. And, ye gods, writing a memoir at 29 seems wrong somehow. But then I look back at everything I’ve experienced, the crazy life I’ve lived and the different obstacles I’ve overcome. Dude, the adversity amassed over the last 29 years is HUGE. I guess there’s a part of me that hopes my over-sharing could help someone. Because, let’s face it, I’ve made a lot of mistakes and have learned a few useful things – even if I don’t use them. Then throw in all the bad stuff that’s happened, whether I was thrust into the situations willingly or not. Maybe writing about it, thereby admitting everything that has happened, will help me. Because I still lie to myself about a lot, I lie in therapy to an extent (when I actually see my therapist) and I know it’s not helping me.

Which, the logical part of my brain – the one that cries on the inside while I continue to allow the stupid to happen – that part knows that I’m balking on working through issues because there’s still a wee bit of the emotional part that is totally broken and convinced I’m not worthy of being fixed. That part is ever-shrinking, obviously allowing me to see how ridiculous it is, but it’s there. And I have a feeling that it’s going to take some unconventional self-trickery to get through it. I’m very good at denial and repression. Actually, in college, a friend once told me – quite accurately – that I’m a denial and repression junkie. The things I can’t repress from active memory are easily internally denied by my advanced justification skills. Sometimes my brain is too smart for my own good as there’s this near-constant internal struggle for control between the logical bits (with a little back-up by the bandaged emotional bits) and those very deeply scarred emotional parts that have fractured and seceded from the rest of my consciousness in an attempt to stay completely closed off to protect myself from unauthorized feeling which might end in being hurt. That part stays in survival mode, terrified of any kind of tragedy – no matter how small – that might hurt me.

It’s crazy. I can almost completely psychoanalyze myself, recognize and accept the many problems I have and acknowledge the ways that I am hindering any attempts at healing yet can’t actually do anything about it. But maybe writing is the key. I’m honest when I write. I rarely censor myself, regardless of the implications of my confessions may be. With 11 years of publishing my thoughts online, I’ve said quite a few things that have resulted in some pretty negative feedback. But the ability to let go and actually be honest, both with myself and anyone who might stumble upon my words, has always been extremely cathartic. In the past year I’ve kept more to myself in the online world. There’s no lying or hiding anything. I’ve just been more hesitant to share my thoughts, feelings and actions. I guess a big part started from lawyers’ orders to not share anything related to my car accident until everything was finalized. And the wreck and everything that came along with it had completely dominated my life. I’m not exactly closer to this accident case being over (although one of the two cases has settled, but the one that I have to continue the complete silence for is only just beginning and it’s very clear that it’s not going to be an easy stroll to the finish line.) But at this point there are a lot of new things consuming my daily life, and these are things I need to talk about.

So, uh, yeah. Damn this rambling. Seriously, this post was meant to keep the momentum up on the wordy contributions while explaining the horrible weekend with Surprise! Migraine! (That won’t go away!) I’m sure at some point I’ve mentioned that I live with a headache. All the time. I don’t remember when the headaches started, but certainly by high school they were a firm fixture in my life. I do remember when I was 9 or 10 being taken to an eye doctor to see if I needed glasses because of frequent headaches. I was diagnosed with having difficulty focusing while reading – that while my close-up vision wasn’t actually bad, I would benefit from having reading glasses so that I wouldn’t strain my eyes while reading. It was a completely wrong diagnosis and actually made the headaches worse. Because I don’t need reading glasses and never have. A few years later I had another eye exam which revealed my nearsightedness. And I’ve gotta say, I will forever remember getting those glasses and having everything actually becoming brighter and clear. It’s always amazing when you have poor eyesight and are given your first pair of glasses, or even when you get an update to your prescription. There is so much that is missed by not being able to see properly. Anyway. Headaches. I’ve had them for forever. There are a couple of spots on my head that just always hurt. Back of my neck/lower part of skull, forehead and top of hairline and a random area on the left side of my head. Allergies make it worse because there’s a lot of pressure in my sinuses. Chronic pain (like from a car accident or a stomach disease) make it worse because I tense myself up without realizing it and don’t sleep well. And that random hurty spot? Well, I have no clue why it hurts. I do know that most of my ice pick headaches occur in that area. Before I knew what they were (as I never bothered to talk about them with doctors or even research them – I stumbled upon the information when looking up information on migraines) I would refer to them as my “straight line” headaches. With no warning, I’ll just have a straight line of unimaginable pain shoot through my head. I am literally paralyzed by it: I cannot see, I cannot speak, I cannot breathe. I just feel this rod of pain that goes through my head, some reflex makes me cock my head to the left and I’m just out of commission until it passes. It can be terrifying, especially when it happens while driving. But I’m lucky enough that they only happen a few times a year at most. But I digress. On Friday my normal, everyday, brain revolting against me headache turned into something a bit worse. A minor blip where my pain was all, “Hey! Hey look at me! Look over here! Hey! I’m your brain and I have this really fun game where you’re going to hurt some more because you’ve become a bit complacent with me by ignoring the default pain I already serve you!” Yeah, it sucked but was manageable. I didn’t even bother with the tylenol because it would hurt my tummy more than it helped my head. And honestly, it wasn’t even a pre-migraine headache.

Yeah, boy was I wrong about that last part. Saturday afternoon my dad came down to ask me something, or tell me something, or…something. I don’t remember. I do know that I had woken up very early, like 6ish, and the headache was progressively getting worse. And had the pre-migraine signs. Around noon, it had turned into a very minor migraine. The type I can usually get through by knocking myself out and sleeping through it. So, I downed 2 muscle relaxers (which is what I normally take to sleep since my psychiatrist doesn’t believe in sleeping pills and my insomnia doesn’t believe in allowing me to sleep) and passed out. Now usually I can get about 3 hours of sleep with this method. Not ideal, but I take what I can get. Shortly before I woke up naturally, Dad came down and turned on the big overhead light. Not a great idea when you’re wracked with photosensitivity. I don’t even remember the conversation we had because I was so out of it from the ever-worsening migraine. He kept the light on while doing a few things for me like feeding the cat. Which took multiple trips up and down the stairs to empty things, get more water (a separate trip, always) and then as an afterthought bringing down more dry food. In any case, big bright light + the poor person whose brain was exploding = sudden onset of all of the really fun migraine symptoms. It took a little while, but I managed to make it upstairs to take a bath in hopes that I could relax myself enough to deal with the pain. But by that time I was sensitive to heat (I need to be surrounded by very cold air during a migraine,) had the visual disturbances (much like the visuals one gets after ingesting certain particularly pungent and altogether disgusting mushrooms) and finally the heightened sense of smell – not so awesome when you’re in a bathtub that has some good smelling goos, which still bother you, but are much worse by not-clean litter-box five feet away. That’s when the nausea got so bad that I nearly threw up IN THE TUB, but luckily made it all the way to the sink. Since I was home with just my mom, there was nobody to help me when I was choking and not breathing from the puking. Not cool at all. Mom eventually forced a few painkillers on me, which let the migraine go from code: OMGWTFBBQ!?! to code: YeahLifeTotallySucksAndI’dRatherDieButAtLeastMyEnvironmentIsn’tKillingMe. (Hah, cute. That last word? Safari’s spellcheck let *most* of it slide – just the “illingMe” part threw a red dotted line party. Weird stuff.)

Anyway, that was Saturday evening. I added a few extra pills to help the painkillers work better: Zofran for nausea, a Scopolamine patch for nausea, a single Zanaflex (muscle relaxer) and two Xanax. All in hopes that I could keep the nausea manageable and my body relaxed enough that the bonus tension headaches that accompany most of my migraines (to help them stick around longer) might also go away. Sunday I woke up very early again and felt like crap still. Actually, possibly a level down from the code “killing me” part. I knocked myself out a few more times, a few more naps to help sleep the pain away. And AGAIN I was fucking woken up by my dad. This time? Because I had asked for plain, salty chips to help with the nausea. And my mom decided she wanted them. Because rather than have him make a meal or even fix her a fucking sandwich, it would be a much better idea to sneak into my room and reach over me to snatch a bag that makes BIG noise. Of course, he had been instructed to leave the lights off to not wake me and to be super quiet. But, chip bags are notoriously loud. And he had to navigate through the maze of my room in complete darkness then reach so far over the bed to reach them that he actually brushed up against me. And, well, I’m the type of person who startles Very Easily. Especially when I’m asleep because I’m all vulnerable. Not cool. Not cool at all. Perhaps it was some kind of revenge for my puking sprees earlier that day. Wherein he was on puke-bucket duty.

And, thanks to the whole migraine causing me to puke in the first place, my stomach is back on the “let’s throw everything up” roller coaster it often visits. Jeez, quickie post my ass – now at over 2000 words. So I’m still fighting off the tail end of the migraine, which essentially just means that at this point it’s relatively mild but I have to be extra cautious to not do anything to trigger it to come back. Like random bright lights switched on when I’m asleep or strong smells or being woken up randomly (poor sleep patterns are a trigger for me.)

Okay…weird side note here. I just saw a flash of light. Similar to the kind that sometimes happen when a light bulb is blowing out. Or how a brief flash of lightening looks in a dark room. Except for how my room isn’t dark, no lights blew out and the TV is on pause – with no issues that I can see that would account for a random flash. So, is this one of those things that happened for real? The house breaker box is in an open closet behind my TV but I’ve never known of a tripped breaker to cause a flash like that. I have a small space heater running, but it didn’t sputter and isn’t showing signs that there was a miniature explosion there. So real? Or in my head? As a most-migraine symptom perhaps. I’ve never had flashes of light as part of the visual weirdness accompanying a migraine – usually it’s more like someone has taken reality and applied a Photoshop filter. Adding extra purple, doing random blurs or, my personal favorite, the zig-zag overlay to my vision.

Anyway, if I don’t wrap this up now it’ll just keep going. Like a houseguest that has completely overstayed their welcome. The point of the entry was to say this: Hey, I’m working on stuff to put here that is actually pretty interesting to me. But obviously I’m not going to crank out a dozen posts for one day so they will be staggered as I finish them, hopefully with the irregularly scheduled entries that you know and love. Or tolerate. Whatever. But the new content is being prepared, migraine got in my way and I’m nursing my brain in hopes of not pissing it off again.

With that, I’ll leave you with a quote from the Brand New Season of Mythbusters.

“Gravity, man. It’s not just a good idea; it’s the LAW!” – Adam Savage I particularly love this little quote not only because gravity is one of my favorite laws, but because of the totally awesome shirt commanding you to “Obey Gravity, It’s the Law!” I’ve wanted that shirt for forever, but back when I was still able to do the loverly buying sprees whenever I wanted from places like ThinkGeek (and Threadless,) I worked with a bunch of geeks who also purchased stuff from ThinkGeek. And there was a coworker who bought the same damn shirt and wore it like the day before I was going to buy it – waiting on my next paycheck and all. Which is good, I suppose, what a fashion faux pas it would be if we wore the same shirt one day. Plus, since he displayed his first, I might have been seen as copying him. And now, of course, I don’t really buy all the awesome stuff I want with the whole lack of job thing going. A good Threadless sale might cause me to blow a bit of money, but that’s really rare too. I can only hope that some benevolent reader will glance at my ThinkGeek wish list and send me a package of happy. *hopes*

Ok, so I was going to first tackle my own planned posts, sprinkled in with a few of the questions/suggestions I received. But, I visited my mom briefly in her room last evening and, as usual, she was watching the news. Always with the news. Often with the Nancy Grace who makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a plastic spoon.

Anyway, there was a story which caused great debate between me and my parents. The whole Wisconsin parents accused of causing their daughter’s death because they wouldn’t take her to a doctor. A year after the whole thing cropped up, they were just sentenced to probation, 30 days in jail a year for 6 years and forced medical exams for their other children. (I know, I just linked to Fox News. WTF? It was the only concise and non-forum related story I could find easily.)

Okay, first of all. It has been clear that they refused medical treatment for religious reasons, preferring to pray instead. They do not belong to an organized religion (so we can’t go faulting one group for being all crazy) but instead, “We just believe in the Bible, that’s all,” [The Mom] said. “This is our faith.”
Her husband added that, “We believe the word of God and live according to its precepts.” Yeah, I’m too lazy to look up their names, too. Whatever.

Anyway, the important lesson here is this. Our country is fucked up. Jehovah’s Witnesses are allowed to refuse blood transfusions (from others), even if it leads to death, without prosecution. In certain cases, if they know there will be a surgery necessary, they can donate their own blood for use in surgery. Anyway, it is a religious choice. Jews are not condemned for refusing, say, a porcine valve (uh, pig heart valve) in heart surgeries because pigs are the ultimate symbol of Treif. Actually, porcine…ingredients…are found in some insulin preparations, too. (One particular type of insulin comes from a cow, but has other animal products in it.) These people aren’t jailed for refusal to use something against their faith. Even if it is a parent refusing on behalf of their child – whose entire well-being is left in their hands. I mean, hell. We have people in an outrage over female circumcision (which, okay, is a lot worse than the male counterpart in that it takes away most sexual pleasure and is done at a much older age) but male circumcision in this country is barely thought about. The Jews, again, have a ceremony for this practice to bring the male child into the covenant of God. During the Bris Milah (or Brit Milah) many orthodox sects don’t clean away the blood spilled from cutting the foreskin, but rather suck the blood off. A mohel sucks the blood from an 8 day old boy’s penis wound to prevent it from being spilt.

Now this last instance has actually changed a bit because of the possibility of spreading disease to the baby. Instead, the blood is sucked through a sterile tube. In any case, this could be considered a bit controversial. Especially if Jews weren’t one of the top religious groups. Yeaaah….that. That part saves them. Christians, too – so long as they’re not the crazy wacky ones.

On Headline News, there was one person…only ONE person trying to even explain the parents’ point of view. Others had said they were delusional for thinking faith healing would work. Gee, don’t a lot of evangelical Christians go to giant conventions for proposed faith healing? Hmmm. Anyway, this one guy had the nerve to even suggest that Christians could be delusional for believing in the death of a man 2000 years ago who was resurrected. He actually got cut off before he could say it, but got enough out to indicate what he meant. Everyone was furious at him and saying how well he was playing the “snicker” Devil’s Advocate. No lie.

Now, it’s fairly well documented that I’m an Atheist. I don’t believe in a god, I don’t believe in preordained destiny. I don’t believe in an afterlife or reincarnation. I do believe in religious freedom. I do believe that people should not be persecuted for their beliefs. See that? Religious persecution. Guess those people who clearly (by their reaction to the delusion comment) have forgotten about the persecution of Christians over and over again throughout the history of Christianity. Or how about the Bahai’is who belong to one of the most peaceful religions (rivaling Buddhism) are being persecuted right now in Iran.

The point is, who are we – as a society – to tell somebody that their religious beliefs are wrong? Even if it causes negative repercussions in a person’s life, who’s to say that it wasn’t the plan of their God/whatever? I mean, if we look back through the Bible a bit, we have the great flood where only Noah (a goodly person in God’s eyes) and his family and a host of animals all crowded on this ark he made to survive the flood planned to wipe out all the evil people of the world. You know, all the rest of them. There’s an instance of God’s plan written out in a book considered to be history by millions of people. Sure, the story is allegorical, but most believers take it literally. Also, let’s think about Job a little bit. He who suffered unimaginably at the hands of Satan. To show that while God is all benevolent he also lets bad things happen to ensure people don’t question his purpose. Job was continually told he had sinned, God was doing all these horrible things because God rewards good and punishes bad deeds. Not so, it turns out! And that’s why babies die from cancer.

Seriously. Seriously. There are way too many instances in Christianity alone where people choose their faith over conventional knowledge. And these people are seen as martyrs. Jews (well, Orthodox mainly) have so many questionable ceremonial acts, along with a few Mitzvahs that make me shake my head. A menstruating woman is unclean for the duration (+7) of her menstruation, anything she touches in unclean and if a person touches her or sits where she has sat, they are also unclean. Of course, only the menstruating woman is required to undergo the ritual cleansing of a mikvah. So, by default, any woman who has come into sexual maturity is seen as unclean by their religion. While it’s something not observed by all religious Jews, obviously, it is strictly followed by some.

The point is, there are a lot of different rituals, beliefs, and requirements found in all religions. And, I firmly believe that religion holds an important part in society. People need something to believe in, otherwise it’s a cold, hard, existential world. Which leads to panic and despair. I think that’s why religion was created – it’s hard to not have answers to life’s greatest questions. Whether you believe in a god responsible for each tangible thing in life – from lightning to the sea, or you believe in one god to rule us all (heh, totally threw in a Tolkien reference there; I rule!) religion holds an important role in most people’s lives. I think we are only just coming into a time where we are advanced enough to even question the validity of religion and all these various beliefs we were raised on (which, of course, vary based on where one is raised) which leads to more people openly becoming Agnostic or Atheist.

So, this is becoming much more about religion than I had planned. I mean, it had to be about religion, but I kind of went the wrong direction I think. So the real point is that some people are allowed to refuse blood for religious reasons, some people have their bleeding penis sucked by an old man when they’re 8 days old for religion, some people are (finally) allowed to use such dangerous and illegal substances as peyote and salvia as part of religious ceremonies. But a family who truly believes in the “word of God” – as many claim they also do – are persecuted because of their literal translation of the text. Don’t we live in a land of supposed religious freedom? Wasn’t that what the country was founded on? How did we get to a point where only Christianity (and only the PG version of Christianity) is okay? Our leaders have to prove their devotion to a God to make them a valid option to even hold the role to lead?

This case is exactly the reason that people on the outliers of religious fanaticism are so afraid to “come out of the closet” so to speak. It’s not cool to be a Scientologist, even if all the celebrities are doing it. Because Scientology doesn’t believe in the need for most modern medicine. Funny that I haven’t heard any cases of Scientologists being prosecuted because they chose to treat an illness as a spiritual imbalance rather than a physical ailment. Because, it doesn’t have to lead to death for it to be considered criminal negligence, you know.

This also reminds me of the story from a few years back (and no I’m not going to look it up for you. I’m Googled out.) about a teenager dying from cancer. He had gone through something like 2 years of treatments – chemo, radiation, bone marrow transplants, all that jazz. At 17 he decided he was done with conventional medicine and wanted to seek out alternative medicine to try to beat the disease. Or, if nothing else, not spend his final moments of life sick from the treatments meant to cure him (or extend his life so he could suffer some more.) He left the hospital with his mother and moved to the southwest, maybe just over the border into Mexico. Because he had read accounts of natural healing through diet and herbs. This was viewed as his mother neglecting him by not forcing him to undergo more treatments. This kid was a few months shy of his 18th birthday, when he would legally be able to make medical decisions. Apparently those few months REALLY COUNT, because he was viewed as delusional and his mom was criticized for helping him die. A regular Dr. Kevorkian. I don’t believe she ever received any punishment, but I’m pretty sure it was because of the age of the kid with cancer. Yes, he died. But he already had a terminal disease and wasn’t expected to live. Adults can choose to cease treatment, but if you haven’t reached your 18th birthday, to hell with your beliefs.

So, to try to wrap this up, I’ll share bits of the conversation my parents and I had. My mom, doe-eyed as ever, said they should have just taken the kid to the doctor and prayed anyway. When I pressed with some of the above mentioned examples of religion dictating how one lives their life (ie, no blood transfusions) it kind of went over her head. Mom’s not the brightest. She’s the type of person who will watch a newscast and hold on to everything said then just shut down if you try to explain any plot holes or dissenting views. My father, ever the anarchist, says basically that the country is going to hell. He’s sick of government mandates “for the good of our health” because it is belittling to us. (I do agree there.) It means that the government believes they know what is best for us better than we do. And hell, even if we don’t make the best decision, shouldn’t we be allowed to do it? I’m obviously not talking about drinking a bottle of vodka then driving the wrong way down a one way street in the middle of the night with your headlights off. No, I’m talking more about how I’m a dangerous seatbelt criminal who has narrowly escaped being ticketed many times for the crime. Does it matter that a seatbelt actually cuts my neck? No. It’s for safety! Does it matter that I survived two car crashes because I WASN’T wearing a seatbelt? Of course not! Those seatbelt deaths are a minority and the person would likely have died anyway. Uh, so yeah. Dad’s view is that the government will only continue to crack down upon our lives, taking away freedoms bit by bit as they’ve done for years like the good Fascist regime we know and love.

So yeah. I think it’s pretty fucked up that these parents were jailed, are on probation, etc because they chose to follow their faith rather than medicine. Because, let’s face it, medicine has never made mistakes before… *Ahem* I think they actually believed that their daughter was under attack by demonic forces which – gee – I’m thinking the Bible has a prescription for, not sure of any pharmaceuticals on the market to treat demonic attacks. Maybe opiates, but that’s probably an off-label use.

Yeah, it sucks that a little girl died from untreated (and undiagnosed) diabetes. That’s really sad. But we do have to draw the line somewhere and actually respect religious choice and freedom. There’s nothing on my birth certificate saying I was born 3/15/80 at 1:58pm weighing 5 pounds and 19 inches long with a sensible, government-approved Judeo-Christian religion practice that will be observed for as long as I shall live. However, the older and more aware I become, the more I sense that this is what the country wants. Well that and control. Anything that doesn’t fit into this perfect little mold? Well, we’ll pretend to accept and support it but work our asses off to find a way to outlaw it.

Thus endeth my little rant. Come back soon for more words! Now with 100% actual words included!

So I kind of, in a way, promised new posts yesterday. But I meant what I said in that I have words floating in my head that desperately need an outlet like these little “New Post” windows in Wordpress.

Anyway, this right here? This is a total non-post. There was some tweaking of things that needed tweaked and that “Add New” link just lured me in. So, rather than just waste this space, I’ll give you a little preview of what’s to come in this little spot on A Ceramic Fish Joint.

There will be a couple movie reviews – something I hope to expand into its own section. I’ve watched a few really great movies lately and want to share, hopefully exposing others to incredible films they may have not seen otherwise.

Fall TV summaries will also have an entry. This is mainly because there are some really super shows (both new and returning) and limiting myself to 140 characters on Twitter to squee over Glee or gush over Dollhouse – and explain its merits to the detractors.

Hopefully those two entries (actually, if all goes well the movie reviews will be multiple posts) won’t turn people off much. I’m not involved in many things right now so I spend a lot of time watching TV – even recording multiple shows so that I don’t miss anything. And, on Thursday nights, those are the nights when THREE things I enjoy but can only record two. So something is always pushed to Friday morning when it’s posted online. There’s Bones and Fringe, moved to Thursday this year. And Flash Forward, Grey’s Anatomy (I know, I can’t help it) and Private Practice (I *know* – really, can’t help it. I tried to stop watching Grey’s and Private Practice this year but…there’s a history and I can’t drop it.) Finally there’s the Thursday comedy: Community, Parks & Rec and The Office. The only problem is deciding what to watch, what to record, and what t catch online. I know, gripping entertainment awaiting you with this particular upcoming post.

I’ll also have a post about my major health problems and what’s being done etc. Finally there will be an entry about the lesser health issues. Or My Health Sucks 2: Electric Boogaloo. Both entries will likely delve into the TMI area. Just so you know what to expect.

And finally I’ll try to do an entry about the crazy ideas I get when sleep-deprived. Usually this means I create stories personifying inanimate objects, throwing in a talking, career-driven animal or three every now and again. I actually wrote a story to my dad last week from the point of view of a check and envelope. It amused me, anyway.

So here’s hoping that now I’ve laid out my posting plans it will guilt me into following through. Let’s see how that works with the whole personal accountability bit.

One last thing, I do sometimes (often) have a hard time coming up with how to start an entry. Once I start, I’m fine though – clearly. Anyway, I’m asking that you submit questions you want answered, or topics you’d like me to touch on. Leave a comment or email me: heidi.sisk@gmail.com I’d definitely appreciate some new topics, especially ones enquiring minds want to know about me, my life, my past or just random stuff. Just something…anything…to get me started on a new topic.

Because I’ve noticed I’m missing valid comments left in the wake of tons of spam, I’ve changed stuff just a bit. Rather than going the route of blocking IPs (which I may still do) I’ve made the following changes:

You have to create an account AND login to comment
-so that-
You no longer have to have a previously approved comment for it to go through automatically.

I hate that I’ve had valid comments sitting there, awaiting moderation for nearly a month simply because life got in the way of blogging. Also, in the past I’ve been known to look at the hundreds of spam comments received in a week and just delete everything without viewing any of them. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to require CAPTCHA because, let’s face it, that sucks. Everyone hates them. And while it’s clear that it’s pretty safe to block Russia, there are other IP blocks that aren’t quite so cut and dry.

So for you three commenters out there, please do me a favor and take a moment to register. It’s easy. I already require your name and email to comment anyway, it’s basically one further step from that. And it will mean that I actually see your comments. Which makes me happy and motivates me to write more. The whole positive reinforcement thing. Plus I have a handful of planned posts that just need to be written. (That’s your bait, you see. If you want to read more, make me happy by commenting. Because, along with the happy there’s also guilt. As it is, I look at my stats and see 3 people visiting a day. Literally. Okay, sometimes it goes up to like 30. But that’s often a fluke. But if there are readers who are tangible to me, I write more. And clearly I have words to spare…they’re just waiting on me to open up a window so that the creative juices have an outlet.)

So, yeah. That’s the housekeeping. Sorry for the inconvenience and such. Just, the spam! It makes me miss the real posts! Thanks a bunch.

As I sit here watching TV an unnatural amount throughout the day, it occurs to me that some of the most attractive people just happen to have accents. Sexy, sexy accents. And, if I mute the TV, the sexy is slightly less. Therefore, certain accents are totally hot.

Yeah, I realize that’s nothing new. But, you know, I’ve recognized this and totally have a plan! Rather than hoping to stumble upon an intelligent, attractive, fun, etc person here – I’ll move to where the sexy accents are all over the place!

I’ve already decided that my poor little Ziggy and his weird non-meow isn’t actually something lacking on his part (like the inability to meow with all focus placed on his perfected purr) but rather that he simply has a heavy accent. I’m thinking eastern European, but I could be wrong. So hard to place the origin of a cat’s meow.

In any case, Europe is the source of some of the sexiest accents. Seriously. In the US, the most distinct accents are the Jersey accent, the southern accent, the Boston accent, the Close-to-Canada accent and that creepy deep woods Appalachian accent that I am sadly is a little close to home for me. Obviously there are more (like Texas which is southern but…not; in the way that Appalachian is southern but totally not) but those are the ones that jump out at me. Anyway. Rather than searching for the so-called needle in the haystack of accents in the vast lands here (seriously, you’d have to do a lot of traveling and searching to find that special someone who also has a delicious accent) it would be much easier to plop yourself in a relatively small area with a high concentration of aforementioned delicious accent.

Now, this isn’t to say that my requirements for a significant other have changed (or that I’ve been compromising myself by allowing non-accented people into my life…and bed) but rather that I’ve realized a distinct feature some people possess that is, by default, incredibly alluring. I can only imagine that a relationship with a delightfully accented person would create an interesting dynamic. Think about it. How hard would it be to maintain an argument when every word out of the “opposing” party is completely swoon-worthy.

Of course, that means that I run the risk of being totally blindsided by things that I may dislike or even abhor under normal circumstances simply because I’m all swoony because the accented words make certain parts of me moister than normal and other parts weaker and full of jelly rather than bone. Just sayin’.

Anyway, I’m thinking this is a pretty solid plan for my romantic future. Move for love. Most people who do this kind of thing obviously move for a particular person. No worries, I don’t mind being a little different. No, I really think this idea has something to it. Move to a locale populated by irresistible accents. And, since the accent won’t be exotic (and therefore a bit coveted – c’mon, I’m not the only one who goes for accents) there won’t be as much competition. Plus! Maybe my own accent could be seen as the exotic one, thereby elevating my allure as an eligible single woman.

This is totally a full-proof plan, no? (Is it sad that I’ve resorted to this? One year with no sex make Heidi something something. Although I have to admit: it’s hard being in your very, very small hometown trying to date or even just get laid. Too many people you already know – or who you would know if your memory were better, but they know you. Add to this my attempts to date are thwarted in several ways: lack of my own transportation since my dad is STILL using my car after all this time so I’m out of a car most of the time, embarrassment over both living in my parents’ basement without a job, having added responsibilities of taking care of my mom since she’s all post-stroke/post infection/with bonus weird health things going on she can’t be left alone and my dad leaves daily resulting in me having to care for her and finally my utter disgust of this place and that it stands for – meaning I want to move as soon as I can which makes relationships of any type difficult as there’s inevitably a point where things find their way of getting more serious even when you don’t mean for them to. Really, though, the biggest roadblocks, I suppose, are the other things. No reliable use of a car. That’s not so hot at 29, even if I technically do have a car that happens to have strings attached. And the no job, living at home part? Yeah, I wouldn’t have looked past that before – how can expect differently from others. Then, of course, the logistical difficulties of getting opportunities to leave the house without being wracked with guilt. Oy. All because I need to get laid. And, sadly, for the first time in a very long time I actually want something more than a one night stand. Of course, after all these years and all these opportunities that I’ve passed over… NOW I want the thing I could have had countless times with amazing people and it’s one of the things that is pretty much out of the question. Hmm, maybe that’s it. Wanting what I can’t have.)